Tuesday, 28 December 2010

 There is nothing better in the morning for me than a warm cup of coffee. Today's coffee was especially delicious, maybe it was the fact that I had not enough sleep or her sitting next to me.

I was thinking today about the absurd idea which is the new year's resolution. Fuck that, which one of you wake up on the 1st and does not eat anymore chocolate for the rest of the year ? See , every year we follow the same pattern, we celebrate our birthday, make plans for holiday, buy large amount of food before Christmas and celebrate new year. It made me think about me when I was just a kid, and believe me that young version of me would not give a crap about any of that. My long future plan would be tomorrow's trip to the forest. Don't you think when we were young we had much less to think about , it was just us. Let me tell you a story about kids.

 "Boa constrictors swallow their prey whole, without chewing it. After that they are not able to move, and they sleep through the six months that they need for digestion." I pondered deeply, then, over the adventures of the jungle. And after some work with a colored pencil I succeeded in making my first drawing. My Drawing Number One. It looked like this:
I showed my masterpiece to the grown-ups, and asked them whether the drawing frightened them. But they answered: "Frighten? Why should any one be frightened by a hat?" My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. But since the grown-ups were not able to understand it, I made another drawing: I drew the inside of the boa constrictor, so that the grown-ups could see it clearly. They always need to have things explained. 

 And now I have a question. Are you the kind of person that can see a hat or that: 

And now I can only imagine you are thinking yes of course I see only elephants in my life. And in my opinion you are wrong. You do not see elephants, not me , not your cousin, not your smart grandad, no one. We see both, there are times we see elephants but most of our time we are looking at hats.There are only personalities that try to look more carefully and notice the elephant.

I go to work and I'm fucking surrounded by hats, I go to school and there is even more of them. So question is what is the solution, to get rid of hats. Mine is being with her. Also that is the reason I am going to quit my job soon.

My name is Dorian, I'm a fucking weirdo, and I'm looking for an elephant.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

I'm a fucking weirdo. Yes, this is just the perfect way to start this post and describe my nature.
I'm a visual type of person, tell me something and I won't be able to remember it....
Show me  a picture and I will never forget it.
So here is a visual representation of what was going in my mind today. 

Friday, 17 December 2010

How often must it love, how often hate!
How often hope, despair, resent, regret,
Conceal, disdain — do all things but forget.
But let Heav'n seize it, all at once 'tis fir'd;
Not touch'd, but rapt; not waken'd, but inspir'd!
Oh come! oh teach me nature to subdue,
Renounce my love, my life, myself — and you.
Fill my fond heart with God alone, for he
Alone can rival, can succeed to thee. How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Last days were wonderful, fulfilled seconds and desire to change for better.
See, I hate people stuck in their monotony. I love changes. For me each day has to bring different experience. And I know too many dull people, for them EACH YEAR is the same. 

Lets get rid of monotony !!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Another careless evening. I will get back to You. 

My muse is waiting for me. 

Saturday, 11 December 2010

I had these fucked up dreams today . I can't write anything meaningful . I can't wait for you .

Thursday, 9 December 2010

No ifs , no buts

My blackberry ring tone woke me up about 10:30 a.m. today. I knew it is her, otherwise I would not be bothered. So I got up and answered.

  Shower than coffee and scrambled eggs. Snow is nearly gone and sun is shining, it seemed like a perfect winter season day.

On my way to London Bridge I realized that the Shard seems taller, although I was looking at it carefully two days ago. Anyway it is not as interesting as the building standing next to this futuristic vision of London.

I have always admired this structure. It looks kind of lost, if you know what I mean. It shouldn't be there. Or maybe it was the fact that I felt that I dreamed about it before I even saw it for the first time. My curiosity led me to this fascination.

I left the Tube around 12:45 . First things first, I need to text her. I got the text " I'm waiting at the bus stop".

I can see her. She left her negatives at my place. Is that what love does to people? Makes them forget things that are quite important ? She really needed them so here I am. 45 sec later , she is gone. That last kiss left a nice warm feeling. I did not say see you later. Why ?

While taking part in this, I had to ask myself a question. Am i judging them somehow ? Of course I was a part of it and I agree with this big purpose but I am looking through a viewfinder and I'm selecting my subjects, why ? What makes me photograph this guy ? He threw a fucking stone at me. So fuck you !

4:15 - It's Adam - "where are you ?"

I was waiting for him  at the Trafalgar Square. He is the only photographer worth my time. He knows why we're here. There we are again. At least 150 officers. It is dark now, my perfect sun is gone. All I can see are explosions and fire. Than I hear 'RUN', so I ran like an idiot, fucking zig zag. I was avoiding their batons. Than I noticed one of them running towards me, VICIOUS, ready to hit me. We knew we had to get back, so we did.

"sorry , can I go through ?, we don't want to be here anymore" I said

"I cant let you go, go away or I will push you"

"but there is no other way out, please" I said

" GO AWAY !" I got pushed

I am at home now, none of you watching news now wont be able to feel what we felt.

I need to rest now.

I am sorry, you know why.

All images copyright © 2010 by Dorian Nedzewicz

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

The Day Off

So, let me just tell you . I have started this blog to keep me active in me free time. There is nothing more upsetting and irritating than sitting at home after a lively week. Somehow when my week is full of work and uni assignments I cannot wait for the long awaited day off. But here it comes. I kept myself busy today for quite a while but there is always that time when I need to take her back to the place where I have picked her up this morning. And I hate this feeling when there is no one to accompany me on my way back home.

 I'm hesitating , should I attend this big thing tomorrow. I know I would take good pictures but I would feel restricted and everyone would with a 2k gear on their neck.

Right now I guess I will read The Little Prince again. There is something about this book, whenever I read it I'm always finding something new and remarkable. If anyone says it is a book only for children, must be a massive imbecile.

Today's creativity awoke in my this need of documenting as much as I only can. It is never easy to carry around a camera (especially so exceptionally heavy) with you and capture the decisive moment but I will do my best from now on.

So here it starts

 The big thing: