Thursday, 9 December 2010

No ifs , no buts

My blackberry ring tone woke me up about 10:30 a.m. today. I knew it is her, otherwise I would not be bothered. So I got up and answered.

  Shower than coffee and scrambled eggs. Snow is nearly gone and sun is shining, it seemed like a perfect winter season day.

On my way to London Bridge I realized that the Shard seems taller, although I was looking at it carefully two days ago. Anyway it is not as interesting as the building standing next to this futuristic vision of London.

I have always admired this structure. It looks kind of lost, if you know what I mean. It shouldn't be there. Or maybe it was the fact that I felt that I dreamed about it before I even saw it for the first time. My curiosity led me to this fascination.

I left the Tube around 12:45 . First things first, I need to text her. I got the text " I'm waiting at the bus stop".

I can see her. She left her negatives at my place. Is that what love does to people? Makes them forget things that are quite important ? She really needed them so here I am. 45 sec later , she is gone. That last kiss left a nice warm feeling. I did not say see you later. Why ?

While taking part in this, I had to ask myself a question. Am i judging them somehow ? Of course I was a part of it and I agree with this big purpose but I am looking through a viewfinder and I'm selecting my subjects, why ? What makes me photograph this guy ? He threw a fucking stone at me. So fuck you !

4:15 - It's Adam - "where are you ?"

I was waiting for him  at the Trafalgar Square. He is the only photographer worth my time. He knows why we're here. There we are again. At least 150 officers. It is dark now, my perfect sun is gone. All I can see are explosions and fire. Than I hear 'RUN', so I ran like an idiot, fucking zig zag. I was avoiding their batons. Than I noticed one of them running towards me, VICIOUS, ready to hit me. We knew we had to get back, so we did.

"sorry , can I go through ?, we don't want to be here anymore" I said

"I cant let you go, go away or I will push you"

"but there is no other way out, please" I said

" GO AWAY !" I got pushed

I am at home now, none of you watching news now wont be able to feel what we felt.

I need to rest now.

I am sorry, you know why.

All images copyright © 2010 by Dorian Nedzewicz

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